Monday, September 14, 2009

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Passing through a 400m train tunnel in Waterval Boven en route to some classic rock climbing over Labor Day weekend set me to pondering whether I might be finally starting to emerge from my own proverbial tunnel that is my first five months of Peace Corps service here in South Africa. As evidenced by the tone of my last major post, I was alarmed that the prevailing trend in my satisfaction with my service pointed steadily downward.

I arrived at site full of hope, overjoyed at being placed with a well-functioning organization with managers and staff who seemed enthusiastic about working together with me to improve the organization's efforts in strategic planning, monitoring and evaluation, microfinance, and enterprise development. I also had the support of a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer who had been working with my organization for more than a year-and-a-half. During the time before he returned home to the US to prepare for graduate school, we formed a close friendship, and I was quite grateful for how he balanced giving me the space I needed to establish my own role while also providing me with helpful guidance and advice whenever I asked.

Well before my co-PCV's departure, my day-to-day experiences were disabusing me of my initial impression that I would be able to accomplish much in a short period of time. Despite my counterparts' seeming eagerness to jointly undertake many of the projects we discussed in our early meetings, other events and priorities consistently intervened. Last-minute requests for reports or surprise visits from importunate funders. Unexpected trips to town. 'Swine flu' outbreaks. Problems with stipend payments.

Before long, over four months had passed, and I was still trying to work with my counterparts to organize a community needs survey--a project I had proposed and done substantial leg-work on during my first month. Particularly discouraging with regard to this project was how a similar request by a major funder to organize four disparate focus groups for one of their research projects was carried out in a matter of days. At that point, it seemed to me that the only way I would be able to accomplish anything would be to show up with a sack full of one-million rand--not too likely a scenario nor one in accordance with the Peace Corps principles of relying primarily on local resources.

During the few weeks prior to my Peace Corps In-Service Training (IST)starting on the last day of August, I noticed a few signs that a few of the many seeds I had planted in the previous months might be taking root. Our community librarian excitedly recounted to me how she had successfully implemented some of the activities aimed at stimulating interest in reading among children that she had learned at a library conference in Polokwane. Our Project Coordinator, after months of hesitancy in engaging with me due to a substantial language barrier, came to me to discuss how to develop a monitoring and evaluation tool. The municipal representative from the Department of Agriculture expressed interest in meeting about providing assistance to develop our food security garden into a productive farm. Although no single incident would alone have restored much hope in the future of my service, these small moments and others lifted my spirits enough for me to depart for our IST absent any dread of my eventual return.

A week of training in the company of friends I had last seen months before, both Americans and South Africans, sandwiched between two weekends of rock climbing restored my state of mind to a level of peace and contentment I had not experienced since my early days at site. During a personal health session late in our week of training, we were warned that the times after trainings are often characterized by plunging mental well-being among Volunteers, due to PCVs reforming and relying on the supportive friendships that we used to sustain ourselves during Pre-Service Training, only to lose them again after several days together. Thus far, thanks to some of my projects continuing to show signs of promise and my excitement at getting to see my girlfriend for the first time since the beginning of February (not necessarily in that order!), I have been able to stave off post-IST blues.

Although I am looking forward to my upcoming holiday for primarily for obvious reasons, I am also quite interested to see how things may or may not change in my absence. I think every Volunteer hopes that one’s efforts will result in long-term benefits for the Volunteer’s community. A multi-week holiday gives one a glimpse of what interventions are most likely to persist after the close of one’s service. Already, I’m intensely curious to see which of the small initiatives I’ve undertaken with various counterparts thus far will survive my absence and which will be taken in directions I would not have anticipated. With luck, I’m hoping my temporary absence will provide some clues as to where my time will be best spent upon my return. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.